summer is over

Ok, well summer ended in the middle of July for us. So it's been over for a while. The boy is on year round school schedule. We have had quite the time since my last horribly depressing post. June ended and not to soon. that month was awful but in came July. Chris had a very easy schedule and we got to go to the perfect place. Yellowstone. We found the kids namesakes and after we got home found out more about their names. John Colter was the first mountain man and first white guy to find Yellowstone. For a while it was referred to as "Colter's Hell". Philip Sheridan was an army general that had shady war tactics, but was one of the leaders in preserving out favorite place but his wife Irene Rucker (my maiden name, I can't find the relation) loved him. Then there is the grand Canyon of Yellowstone. 
Since then we've tried to recuperate from our vacation.  We were canning tomatoes from our garden all July and August. Thankfully that has slowed down a bit. Our garden has been great though.  I mean 6 foot tomato trees people. We have an abundance. And we are grateful.
I've been trying to fight my depression more than ever it seems. Even with it being easier around here, I'm still down. I'm not exactly sure why. I've been back on chocolate again, maybe that's why.
Oh and we've had some birthdays. Colt turned one. He's so big and he got his first haircut. Canyon is 6 now and is loving first grade. I just hit the big 2-8. I got a cricut and I'm so excited to use it. Sher took the scissors into her own hands, but it worked out because now she has a cute a-line bob. I've been trying to get some craft on so you can check my other blog soon. Crafting pulls me out of my crap-tastic-ness.  I think the cricut will be great for me.
Well I don't really want to write a novel, I'll leave that to the professionals. I just thought y'all should know I haven't been committed and things are better than they were two months ago. mostly.

struggling

i feel like i've been struggling lately. it's been over a month since i've posted. we had some really good time with my parents who came for a week. It was wonderful. we had loads of fun and the kids and i all basked in the glory of their attention. once they left it kind of sucked.
the doctor has been working non-stop. it's taking it's toll on us all. including him. it's been rough. his transition month from lowly intern resident to a second year has been very taxing on us both. the hours are ridiculous. he's doing triple the work that he did in the same rotation a year ago. and working every weekend. I want you all to understand that chris gets paid salary for a 40 hour work week. this month has been full of 84+ hour work weeks. no overtime, so we get nothing extra for his work. a typical week is 60+. that i can live with. that means i have the same work week with three kids by myself. it's rough. i know, some people might judge and say i chose this lifestyle for myself. i know my kids are a blessing, not a hindrance. i'm doing much better at recognizing that. but i'm telling you, this sucks. i feel weighed down and like i am barely scraping by. i'm trying to stay busy outside the house so 1. i don't have to deal with the house and 2. i don't have to think about how lonely (and disastrous) it is here. I feel sorry for chris that he has to come home to either his zombie bride or the psycho mom most days. I know it will pass. i mean this month is almost over.
two birthday's are coming within days for my boys. i want so much to be happy and celebrate. but i'm having a hard time finding the gusto to even think of, let alone decorate, a cake. something i love to do.
this is depressing. i know. i'm depressed. i needed to vent. i feel an ounce better. maybe.

secret hideout

Colter has taken his first steps i just have to figure out how to put a video on here.
Sheridan is always in a "secret hiding place" that I set up for her. The dumb thing is that i forget and end up looking for her everywhere and get all nervous and think she ran away, but really she just under the coffee table that has blanket hung over it. She has also mastered rolling her eyes. Hard to stay in the stern tone when your 3 year old is rolling her eyes. (don't you roll your eyes at me young lady) teeheehee)
Canyon only has two weeks of kindergarten left. holy moly, time has flown.
My mom and dad are coming to visit after that. yeah!!!

Anyway I was thinking of hideouts (not just Sheridan's) because you know how easy it is to find people now-a-days. But then there are like the two people that you actually want to find forever, and you can find their siblings on facebook or a blog but you don't want to look like crazy stalker face and ask how they are. You know who I'm talking about, exes, old bff's you haven't seen since high school. I mean what if they died and that is why they still haven't joined the rest of us on the unholy Internet (thanks Brice). I've slowly found most of the people. But there have  been two or three that i wanted to find the most and will randomly google or search for on fb, and no luck.  They have managed to stay free from Internet searches. So today I found one. yeah! I lost touch about 9 years ago and found her today. Through a sibling on FB. Yeah! Anyway people, let me be a crazy stalker face (i just want to know if your ok) and come out of hiding.

Oh and it's been days since I've had any chocolate and a week since I've had a caffeinated soda. You didn't think I could do it? Did ya? Well I wasn't sure I could either.  I feel pretty good.

pink peonies

I love that my living room smells like fresh flowers from my yard. I've been putting these large beauties wherever I can. I'm even pulling out mason jars for vases. I have three of the light pink bushes and one fuchsia. I love them. They really are so big and heavy that they fall over. So much better in my house than dragging on the ground.

my oven is toasted

There may have been a small fire in my oven. Now it will only broil. A new oven was on the list, but it just got drastically bumped up. It's been really ugly, but it works and I wanted other things first. And, I just cleaned it last week, that cleaning is supposed to last much longer than a week. (There may be a small part of me that is just thrilled to get a new oven) My rolls were totally raw on the bottom today, annoying.
Well on to better things. Yard sales!! I have so many new project materials.  I actually gave up my parking spot until I can finish them and get them in to the house. Fun!

it's been.... around here.

Miserable.
Colter won't sleep. I take him in for his 9 month check up this morning and he has a double ear infection. He had his first two teeth come in this week and you can see all the swollen gums on top. And allergies have taken over us all. Poor poor colter.

Wonderful.
Allergies aside, how can we stay indoors. It is perfect outside! Chris scored a couple days off in a row this weekend and school, rain, allergies, you can come but you are not stopping us from camping. Also, I painted our chandalier, made Sher a dress and started painting our birdhouse outside in the yard, and weeded, and planted flowers. (which all the rabitts have eaten, but it was nice to plant them) Yes I've been busy, don't ask about the laundry. {we all have clean undies!}

so it's been a mix of things around here. I'll update my other blog with my projects later, now i have to go to therapy and learn how do deal with the miserable parts.

busy busy busy and now you want food?

OK so the kids are whining the kitchen is cluttered and laundry is in the machine (or piled high). As if you don't have enough to do, now it's dinner time. OR you've been working or have been out and about all day, you are exhausted and are feeling kinda whiny yourself and need to eat something. Soon.
I know one of these sounds familiar, at least some of the time! I want your fastest recipes (anyone and everyone who reads this will benefit so don't be shy)! Ok I love the crockpot plan ahead recipes, the pull out the meat the day before recipes, ( i will want those too in time) but right now I want your, dinner's in 20 or 30,  I forgot to plan ahead recipes. I will share my favorite but I want yours too.
Ok I like to make wraps in a hurry.
Flour tortillas
bacon (cook it- you can even nuke it)
sandwich meat, or leftover chicken
lettuce (we have switched to cabbage recently)
cucumber
cheese
any other veggies on hand
ranch
bbq sauce

mix some ranch and bbq together to make a new sauce. spread a bit on tortilla then layer up your goods and roll like a burro, leaving one end open.
See I told you it was fast!! Now most of you may have already thought of this but I had to share something, so now need your fastest ideas. Oh and one disclaimer, Chris hates breakfast for dinner (I know), otherwise I would have listed french toast or something. But biscuits and gravy has somehow been acceptable and come up as a quick fix before.

Thanks!

blog frog? what is it?

ok, i just joined blog frog as part of the spring fling going on and i don't really know what it is, i mean i already have new followers (awesome and thanks)  but can someone tell me what i'm supposed to do and what the point is?
oh and i updated lacycakes with more new projects. check sidebar for link.

now for important stuff. colter is getting a tooth! he is also starting to lose some of the chubkins-ness. NO! I want him to be my fat baby forever. he just wants to be one of the big kids though.  and the big kids are busy, easter was fun! the bunny hopped through our very own back yard for the first time, and what a beautiful spring filled backyard we have. It's fun!

yeah me

ok no i don't have any pictures but i'm so excited. I changed a light fixture all by myself today! I went and bought it, brought it home then replaced an old light, just me.  (ok the kids handed me the wire caps ) yeah for me! So now my bathroom has a new vanity light. hooray! and our room has a new ceiling fan. chris went into the nasty fiberglass fluff filled attic and hardwired our room for  lights. so i now have two wonderful new light fixtures in my room and got rid of the one crap floor lamp that had seen better years. It is too wonderful not to share, ok and i wanted to brag a little too.

YUM

Ok, No I'm not talking about food right now, well ok I actually did make really yummy cinnamon rolls to devour last night (really the first time I have ever made yummy ones, ever!) but that is not what i'm talking about. i found a website with dresses i love but really can't afford but Chris is invited to cocktail parties and semi or formal events  a lot that he is expected to attend and well I don't have the funds to dress up for all these parties, last time I managed to score a deeply discounted ($10) dress from kohls. this time i'm hoping to win a yummy dress from shabby apple.  This mama rocks is giving one away. PLEASE pick me.  If anybody else has any other modest dress sights that are their faves please share them with me.

i mean who wouldn't want to show up to a party in a dress like this?!

a few reasons..

I wanted to write a few resons why i love my children so i can look at this and remember it when they are driving me batty.
I love Canyon because...
He is such a kind big brother, especially to baby brother. He always helps when asked, even if he's grumbling. He teaches me new things all the time, like who Ashoka is. And he always makes sure someone is ok after they fall down, he is just a sweetheart. And he is tender hearted too. I love that he is trying so much to understand this world we live and asks thoughtful questions. He is also an observer of things, who knows what is going on in his bright little mind. Oh and his sprinkles (freckles).
I love Sheridan because...
She is so playful, she flips, leaps, dances, skips, runs and hardly ever walks. She actually gets me to skip with her in parking lots because who could resist such cheer. She is overflowing with it. She is also sassy as can be and quick witted. I love even her meanest face because her big gorgeous eyes are glaring at you through it. I love how she wants to be a grown up ariel when she grows up and wants to get married in a castle just like the one mommy got married in (temple).  That I can't get her to slow down on the learning front. she is looking out for baby brother too. And the fact that she is rarely shy.
I love Colter because.....
He is so happy. He loves to eat, when I put him in his high chair he kicks and says mmm mmm mmm very excitedly and I just laugh every time. he is a jumping bean, he loves to kick and bounce for long periods of time. I love his chub. I mean I would love him w/o it to but would I love him this much? ;-} And his expressive little face could tell tales with those bright blue eyes. And I love that he get's really excited when mom or dad walks in the room (but especially mom). And how he sucks on his bottom lip and looks like a cute old man.

There are countless reasons why I love Chris too but I will keep those for me, and I already made him a jar of a 100+ reason why I love you.
Remember the love, It's just like counting your blessings.

Oh Canyon just read this and started telling me why he loves me too. My heart is melting.

chubalicious is crawling.

This boy is chubby, i mean cellulite thighs, belly hanging over diaper kind of chub. I just want to eat him like a marshmallow? Have I mentioned that before? I'm obsessed with his fatness. I love it!

yesterday was good

So the day after the suckage, things improved and am now feeling better. I'm probably like 90% chocolate free and I feel good about that. Yesterday was gorgeous outside so we took the kids to the shriner parade and they loved all the little cars and so did I. Then we came home and raked up 13 more bags of leaves to add to all the ones we did in the fall. we cleaned out the garden beds and there are things sprouting that we didn't plant. Can't wait to see what they are. Made the kids play outside the whole time we were out there. They thought it was ok at first and then they started begging to go inside. Winter has ruined them. I am getting so excited for spring I can barely wait. Then we fired up the grill and had burgers and it was just all great. I had one little bout of depression when it was brought to my attention that I was missing Lehi days in AZ. I love it. So we were driving by costco and I had chris stop and we just wandered around and ate all the samples. I think I started feeling better right after the chicken and mozzerella ravioli. yum. Canyon is on shcool break right now for a couple weeks, Sher really wants to go to school and talks about "her school" all the time. Colt is crawling now. And it seems since he was my latest crawler he is making up for lost time and already pulling him self up on things. I keep telling him he has 4 months (at least) before he needs to walk but he seems determined to catch up to his siblings. ugh. Oh it's a good sunday. The damn roast (thanks huntingtons) is on, and the bread is rising. I have to go play princess with Sheridan. Hope you all have a wonderful day.

so yesterday sucked.

I don't really want to go into the details of sheridan cutting up colters s.s. card that I just got in the mail because the first one never came. Or little miss being told to stop doing something more than once and then getting hurt, all day long. Or how I finally ended up yelling at her while she was crying because I had told her to stop. Or about how Colter wants to eat all day long! Or about how a root canal is more pleasurable than arguing with Canyon just to get him to read the next two pages of his book. (my kids can't ask me for anything during a root canal). I love my kids but my insides look like this sometimes. Not always, not even most of the time, but most of yesterday. Oh and the only chocolate I had was when my absent minded brain cut out and I thought I can't order a chocolate shake so I'll get a butterfinger one. My brain is chemically engineered to crave chocolate. I mean I get it without even realizing it. Other wise since my last post I am definitely 95% chocolate free.

kicking depressions arse!

I'm trying to beat my depression with diet and excersize. I need your support! I can't do this alone and I fugure if I have someone to answer to, my few followers, it will give me more encouragement. I'm starting with excersize and cutting at least 95% of my chocolate (100% would be like murder). I started with slow-robics. I'm sore. And now I need to remove chocolate. This is going to be the hardest part. I will slowly be removing other unhealthy things from my diet, like ton's of sugar, ton's of goods baked with white flour, and I've already cut caffienated soda. How do I cut chocolate?  I survive on it, I turn to it when I'm stressed or just craving something yummy, I've eaten more bags of chocolate chips than I've baked with (ok maybe not that extreme). Help me out, wish me luck, send me some sweet carrot and whole grain wishes. And hold me accountable!

Heaven! I mean why would this kid complain?

lacy-cakes.blogspot.com. check it out, it's my new crafting sanctuary. I will display my work, others work (with their permission) and creative ideas. let the crafting begin

who needs an electrician...

when you've got a doctor in the house. Chris hardwired and installed a new over the range microwave, in our house recently. He then was so proud of his work he decided to hard wire the kids rooms and install light fixtures, because our house was built in the 80's when they could only figure out how to hook up switches to outlets. He did have a wonderful assistant who held up the hefty microwave and crawled into the dark fiberglass filled attic. (shudder) He has to find a new assitant to install a light in our room. It's much farther away from the attic opening. no thanks. I think we can call a real electrician for that. And here is a little happy boy updated pic. he is such a doll we just love him. Oh and I chopped off my long locks yesterday. i tried to take a picture but me and the camera have a love hate relationship - it loves to take gross pictures of me and i hate that. so just imagine me with a short steep a-line cut. It is the shortest I've ever cut it and the camera and I will work on our relationship so that i can get a picture to show you soon..

i have a shining sink!

the flylady changed my life.  Well she has at least changed my week so far. I've been reading her book sink reflections and my house is clean. i mean the sink is shining, the floors are swept the toilets (and behind them) are scrubbed and no i'm not expecting company. I'm not depressed, i'm in control, i'm decluttering, my house is wonderful, i don't feel guilty when i craft. (guilty as in i "should" be doing something else) the should word is leaving my vocabulary slowly and being replaced with could- it really makes a big difference and holds much less guilt, give it a try. when you see something in your house just ask yourself, does this bless my home or mess my home. that is my new motto when i'm cleaning and purging "stuff".